This November has been colored with gray skies, loneliness, stress, and tiredness. Josh has been continually absent due to transitional and residency interviews, which, despite my tone, we are very thankful for! Within the span of a month, he’s been flying and drying everywhere from Wisconsin to Pennsylvania, and back again. Once he comes home for a couple evenings, he is in no condition to help out, and we certainly don’t expect him to. With the lack of close friends or relatives nearby, I feel like our home has become a trash heap as I try to keep Caleb entertained and continue to work. Josh and I have both reflected that perhaps this experience would be better if we had the summer sunshine to meet our fatigue, but then I consider the possibility of staying in Indiana forever, where that blessed sunshine only shows itself for 1/8 of the year. And, it’s honestly a wee bit depressing. But that still small voice reminds me to pray, “Not my will, but Thine.”
Thankfully, God has given us some sunshine this past month. First, my parents were able to visit me for a weekend; Caleb and I enjoyed ourselves immensely, and can’t wait to see them again at Christmas. Although we live 9 hours away, we can drive to NC in a day, and that’s a huge blessing!
In addition, I was able to go with Josh to one of his interviews in PA. We had looked forward to our first getaway since Caleb’s birth, and I had all these grand ideas for these 2 days: reading books together in the car (I would be reading aloud, of course), discussing the future, strolling around town, stopping for some Christmas shopping, etc. The night before our departure, my body started aching, I felt extremely nauseated, and then profuse vomiting ensued (lovely, right?). With no more food in my system, we decided to go anyway since we were in no shape to watch Caleb. Although my romantic expectations were dashed, it was a great blessing to get away for mandatory rest. Josh also got sick that evening, but we languished together, temporarily released from our parental duties. We then preceded to cautiously nibble on some Saltines and were soon able to enjoy a delightful visit with one of my good friends from college.
Aside from the commotion revolving around Josh’s absence, I should mention that Thanksgiving gave me the opportunity to reflect on how much I appreciate my job. God has been so good on this front. Almost five years ago, he gave me one interview to the one place I was meant to be. At that time it was only five minutes from our new home. He also knew that four years later, this would be the same school that would give me the perfect part-time schedule once I had a baby. At several points I had considered working elsewhere, but God knew that this was one of the few nearby schools providing a block schedule that would enable me to teach on an every-other-day basis. As an English teacher, the paperwork is often stressful, but that will never overshadow the fact that God gave me this job, and He has used it to bless me countlessly.
There will be a separate update on the soon-to-be-10-month-old Caleb, but I can’t conclude without reflecting on his sweetness. He’s an active little dude now, but provides precious company, always there to cuddle and giggle with me. Although he has his moments, I love peering down at this picture of innocence that God entrusted to me. Often when my heart is heavy, just one sweet smile gives me the energy to carry on.